The Broke Intern

Woke up this morning to a message that was sent to me on Facebook from my sister. Apparently one of my cousins is having a birthday thing today and I wasn’t even invited or even told about it. Fist my family calls me selfish, ungrateful, and now, they want to be fucking dicks about thing? The more they continue to act this way the more I have no problem being cold towards them. My mom and my brothers are all that I have left to turn to… and one of my aunts, who is more like cousin. 

I just can’t stand the fact that they are acting like this…. when I have done nothing wrong. I thought today would be a great normal day but, it is starting out like shit right now. I’ve been crying for the past hour. 

 I am so frustrated with my life right now. Everything was suppose to workout and get better from here not, make things worse and feel as if I am not accomplishing anything. I feel as if I am not going anywhere in my life, like I am never going to make it. My love life sucks, My career life has been stone walled, I feel as if all my friends have left me, and pretty much most of my family has left me as well. 

 I know this sadness I am feeling right now will later turn into motivation. I know I will be able to use it to my advantage and show all those who are just waiting for me to fail that I can do this. Right now though, I am just going through a very rough time. Most 23 year old are just finishing school, or are still in school not knowing what they want in their lives…. I am not one of them. I am on this hard lonely road to becoming something in my life and living the life that only others can dream of. I know I can make it there, I know I can look back at all those who put me down, laughed, and wanted me to fail and show them they were wrong. I can never settle for less in my life and I won’t let them stop me…….. but in the mean time, no one said this would be easy. 

This morning got a phone call from my best friend and she actually made me feel much better today. After talking to her about a few things she made me feel ok… She reassured me that I am on the right path and that negative people in my life are not important.

It’s been two weeks since we’ve actually had a real phone conversation and it felt great. Yesterday I wasn’t feeling like myself and had a moment of weakness (we all have those days).

I have just become so frustrated with things lately but, life has a way of testing you and slapping you around a bit. Not to tear you down per say but, to toughen up your skin and build character. I honestly believe that something good is about to come my way. For some reason I can feel it deep down inside my heart. It’s like when you are anticipating that vacation trip that is around the corner or that package that you know is arriving any day. I have no idea what is it but, I know something is coming my way.

Starting this blog has really helped me let out my feelings. Being broke and interning for a Jewelry company (10 months now) and not getting paid for it really takes a lot out of me. I get so much shit from friends and family because I continue to stay with this company and yet, they have not paid me anything. I can’t help that I love what I am doing and love the pressure, exposure, and spreads this company is getting. There is Soo much potential I see here and know something great is going to either come from this or out of it. It’s just a matter of when and time.